Sure, you can buy weed at the store now. And it’s pretty fucking great. But what about other drugs? And I’m not talking about opioids, coke, or meth because that shit is all whack. I’m talking about how to find party drugs! The fun stuff, Molly, LSD, and mushrooms.
Aside from picking mushrooms in special highly-guarded spots in hyper-specific seasons, how do you find party drugs? While I can’t give you an address or a phone number, as a seasoned party animal, I do have some suggestions.
Ask Your Old Weed Dealer
The legal weed market stepped on the toes of many enterprising people in a big way. But that doesn’t mean they’re not still at it in other markets.
Text your old dealer, ask if they know where to get any Molly or whatever it is you’re looking for. But ask it like, “You know where Molly’s been at these days, haven’t seen her around for a while?” dealers love that shit. And be prepared to wait. Party drugs may take time to procure. Especially LSD, expect at least a few days, but up to a week or more to find some quality LSD.
Assess Existing Contacts and Put out Feelers
You might not think you know anyone who sells party drugs, but you very well might. At the very least, if you’re a twenty or thirty-something in a large urban area, you probably know someone who can procure some fun drugs for you.
Go through the contacts on your phone and think about each one. Does this person like jam bands? If yes, shoot them a text. Are they a DJ? Text them. Do they just like electronic music? Hit them up. If they have to go through someone else, it’s worth trying to tag along, but don’t expect it to happen. If you’re spending a lot of money however, you should try to meet the person you’re buying from.
The Dark Web
For those who don’t like leaving the safety of their homes to find party drugs, good news! There is the Dark Web. Some claim this is much safer than buying from humans you’re forced to interact with. I don’t know about all that, especially if you’re buying from someone you know. I used to buy Molly from the actual chemist who I knew and liked, what’s safer than that?! But at this point in history, there’s a good chance whoever you’re buying it from just got it off the Darknet anyway so you might as well cut out the middle man.
This piece lays out the steps for buying from the Dark Web, and it’s detailed and should help you out. It’s a little dated but the basics are the same. You’ll need to get some cryptocurrency, best if it’s Bitcoin, download Tor, an encrypted browser, probably install some further encryption software, and search Reddit among other things.
The Reddit r/ mentioned in the article isn’t there anymore, but it took me less than 5 minutes cruising on Reddit to find the name of a Dark Web marketplace and seller that sounded probable, so I have faith that with some obvious keyword searches on Reddit you’ll be able to do the same. Before you do anything, poke around on Reddit to research. It has a ton of useful info to be found on Dark Web matters. This is the most long-game method, expect a few weeks for it all to go down. But once you find a good buyer and you have some crypto to spend, you’ll be all set for the future.
You can also order drug testing kits online, so if they don’t pass you can ask for a refund, and you actually might get one. Because online sellers are subject to customer-satisfaction more so than some rando you met at a rave.
Go to a Rave or Jam Band Show
People still rave! It’s a thing. And Phish isn’t on tour right now but there are lots of other jam band-ish artists always on tour, and trustafarians won’t miss those shows. And if you show up to one of these shows, you’ll probably be able to find party drugs. Just look for white kids with “dreads,” or visibly high people, and ask. Try to get a number if you can. Not only will it allow you to get drugs in the future, but it will give you some sense of security that the person isn’t selling you actual poison.
This is the sketchiest way to get party drugs for sure. Anyone you know who sells you drugs is going to have a vested interest in not selling you something that will hurt you. If not because they’re a good person but because they want to keep selling drugs and not go to jail. It’s also going to be expensive, and you’re not really in a position to barter.
Be Safe and Don’t Be Dumb
These are just ideas. You should exercise the utmost caution when purchasing illicit drugs first for your physical health and safety, and second to avoid legal trouble. But with some patience and hard work, you can find party drugs and have the fun times you’ve been dreaming of.