Everybody loves a weird-ass story. But have you ever read a weird story… on weed? It’s even better of course. And as cannabis prohibition ends state by state across the country, weird weed stories were aplenty in 2019. From weed fairies to weed Santa, cannabis was everywhere in 2019, and it was weird as hell.
8. Rickie Williams is Blessed by Weed Fairies
Ex-NFL player Rickie Williams is almost as famous for smoking herb as he is for playing football. He quit the NFL so he could smoke weed. That’s dedication. In February of 2019, Williams opened up about his cannabis use after quitting the NFL in a video interview with Herb.
“As I hit the road and started traveling, I called it the weed fairy,” Williams recalled. “Without me going to look for it, in some weird, mysterious, synchronistic way [weed would appear].”
Williams went on to describe stories of cannabis manifesting itself to him in Fiji and Australia without him even mentioning it. As weird of a story as this is, I think pretty much every stoner alive knows exactly what Williams is talking about. Which is why Williams is such a lovable weirdo.
7. Jonathan Rhys Meyers gets Busted on a Plane Full of Weed with his Mother-in-Law
Another weird celebrity weed story. This one is way weirder, and way less relatable, however. In May, Jonathan Rhys Meyer, a washed-up Irish actor most famous for starring in his own messy life, was on a private plane with billionaire Chase Ergen and Alki David a Coca-Cola bottling heir, and Meyer’s wife and mother-in-law.
The rich dudes were allegedly traveling to St. Kitts to pitch their “hemp products” to the government. Why were Meyer and his wife and her mom along for the ride? Nobody’s saying.
There was $1.3 million worth of what’s described as cannabis and CBD products on the plane. When it was grounded on the island, the two ‘entrepreneurs’ were arrested for not having a license to import cannabis seeds. The pair issued a press release about their arrest, Meyer wasn’t mentioned.
6. That’s Doctor Marijuana Pepsi
This story is a weird weed story in name only. That’s because the woman it’s about, who’s name is Marijuana Pepsi, has never even taken a hit of sweet Mary Jane.
Born in 1972, Marijuana Pepsi Vandyck said her mom wanted to give her a name that would take her places. Considering her name alone has landed her in the news for years, her mom was right.
In June of 2019, Marijuana Pepsi Vandyck earned her Ph.D. in higher education leadership for changing populations. Her dissertation was titled Black Names in White Classrooms: Teacher Behaviors and Student Perceptions. Even though Vandyck doesn’t partake in consuming her namesake, it’s pretty rad that she took her unique name and ran with it to a doctorate. She makes all marijuana look good.
5. People in Arkansas are Either Dosing Dogs or Eating Dog Treats
Legal medical cannabis sales opened in Arkansas in May, and so far 4,200 pounds of cannabis has generated $28 million in sales. That’s weird enough as it is, but this story gets weirder.
It starts pretty normally, some narcs called the cops on three dudes for smoking weed at Lake Ouachita State Park in July. Cops searched the dudes and found a backpack of Fear and Loathing-level proportions. In addition to weed, the backpack had a baggie with 70 pills of every color of the rainbow, ecstasy, psychedelic mushrooms, crystal meth, and here’s the real kicker, dog biscuits dosed with LSD.
WTF?!! Were they going to eat dog biscuits or dose dogs with LSD?! If it’s the former, whyyy??? You can dose anything, why dog biscuits? If it’s the latter they are fucking monsters who deserve a lifetime of forced hallucinations while leashed.
4. Florida Man Calls Cops Repeatedly About his Roommate Stealing Weed
We all knew Florida Man would make an appearance on this list at least once. Here’s his first appearance. In October, Pasco County Sheriff’s Office Deputy Neal Zalva posted a video to Twitter.
“Alright, so I just received a call,” Zalva said in the video. “A guy’s calling in, saying his roommate stole his weed. About $20 worth, and he’s upset. He keeps calling 911. So, I’ve got to give him a call to tell him to stop calling about his weed.”
Oh Florida man, you never fail to entertain us with your antics. May you continue to prosper in 2020.
3. “Do you want weed with that?”
Some enterprising drive-thru employee had a rude awakening when he realized that not only did he lose out on some weed-selling, but he gave the free weed to a narc. In late October, 24-year-old Parish Brown ordered a meal from a South Carolina McDonald’s and it came with some surprises.
He ordered sweet tea with light ice and extra lemon. The drive-thru worker had to confirm the extra lemon portion of the order, which Brown found a little odd but brushed it off. Later as he was drinking it, he noticed it tasted a little weird, but kept on drinking it, as he was thirsty and tired.
It wasn’t until later he noticed his cup was jammed full of three bags of weed and he was “high as a kite,” He’d never been high before, and called his dad and the cops to report the incident. The cops didn’t quite believe it, but Brown wasn’t charged. It had to have been a placebo high because you can’t get high from weed touching your sweet tea, but what do I know?
A similar incident happened at a North Carolina Taco Bell in June. Maybe those states should legalize cannabis so people don’t have to sell it out of drive-thru restaurants and scare the sober people. Also, illicit drive-thru weed-sellers, pick code words unsuspecting normal customers won’t actually say on a regular basis you doofuses.
2. Company Seeks Employee to Smoke Weed for $3,000 a Month
This one didn’t seem that weird to me because I get paid to review weed, admittedly. But the job ad was meant to get some attention. And it worked.
Americanmarijuana.org put out an ad looking for some cannabis product reviewers, and it worked. The ad offered a potential $36,000 annual salary and free weed.
“If you think you got the guts to smoke weed every day (plays Snoop Dogg song) and get paid doing it, you might just be the guy we need,” the ad read.
One of the job requirements was being able to name six street names for cannabis which is just about the dumbest thing I have ever read. Anyone could do that. Devil’s lettuce, grandpappy’s tobaccy, Willy Nelson, should I go on?
But the sheer idiocy of it didn’t keep anyone from applying. When the ad was last updated on December 3, the job ad had received nearly 17,000 applicants. Did I mention The Sesh needs cannabis reviewers? Inquire within.
1. They Arrested Canna-Santa in Florida Because They’re Monsters
Boo cops. On Christmas day, a modern-day miracle worker named Richard Ellis Spurrier AKA Kris Kringle, AKA Santa Claus was arrested for handing out free weed to passersby in you guessed it, Florida. The 67-year-old, who has long gray hair, was giving out free weed to strangers “because it was Christmas.”
Why some scrooge took that kindness and went to the police instead of passing it along to their favorite stoner is a mystery.
Surely we missed a few, including Willy Nelson quitting weed, but there’s plenty on this list to enjoy nonetheless. Here’s to 2020 bringing more cannabis weirdness and less cannabis prohibition. Cheers!