You’re stoned in the Central District. The munchies hit you like a brick wall and you need to eat something stat. There are plenty of places to eat, but you want something fast, casual, and with food so delicious it will blow your mind.
Then it hits you: Ezell’s Famous Chicken is merely a few blocks away. You head over to the flagship location and order a two-piece meal with heritage macaroni and cheese and creamy coleslaw. You get it home and relish in the deliciousness before it disappears within minutes of the boxes being opened.
How many CD stoners have had this exact scenario play out? Probably a lot. And there’s a good reason for this. Ezell’s Famous Chicken is ridiculously delicious, whether you’re stone-cold sober or stoned out of your gourd.
This is probably why the famous local fast-food chain has been around for 35 years. The chain opened in 1984 the day of the Bubblin’ Brown Sugar Dance-Off event at Garfield High School, (don’t smoke weed kids!!!), and has been going strong ever since.
Ezell’s is so delicious THEE Oprah Winfrey had the restaurant cater her 36th birthday party in 1990. Action Bronson visited the shop for episode two of his show, ‘Fuck, That’s Delicious’. The chain even opened a short-lived and ill-fated location in Dubai. I guess they don’t like good food in Dubai….
Where to Find Them
If you’re in Seattle and you want to give it a try, you’re in luck. Ezell’s has locations all over the city. From Wallingford to Bellevue, if you’re in King County there is an Ezell’s near you. Tacoma and Spokane are even graced with Ezell’s presence.
Or if you’re Oprah and live in none of these places, you can just ship it to your house from Santa Barbara or Chicago or wherever the hell she is like she allegedly does every time she has the craving.
But enough about the business, now we get to the heart of the matter. Or the heart blockage of the matter. The food! The delicious, delicious food. The fried chicken is, of course, the star of the show. It comes in regular and spicy varieties, I like spicy. Allegedly Oprah goes for regular.
The chicken is hand-breaded using a proprietary battering process. None of that big chain fast-food, frozen pre-breaded bull shit. That’s why it’s so unbelievably good.
But if you went into Ezell’s and ordered just chicken, you’d be making a huge mistake. The sides and desserts are also world-class. My personal favorites are the heritage mac and cheese and the creamy coleslaw. I would go just for the mac and cheese, personally. But you really can’t go wrong.
The desserts are also famous, with Oprah Winfrey herself writing on her signed portrait that hangs in the CD location “Ezell’s, I don’t know what I like more, the chicken or the sweet potato pie!” So treat yourself and try the sweet potato pie while you’re there.
No amount of explanations can convey how delicious and satisfying Ezell’s food is, so go in and give it a try. Because best of all, the price is right. You can go in and gorge yourself for well under $20, and two people can do the same for well under $30, including a generous tip. Because you should always tip food-service employees.
Food tastes better when you’re high, it’s a fact. And Ezell’s tastes amazing all the time, so it’s compounded.
But the real question is, does Oprah Winfrey smoke weed? Her bestie Gale says she has imbibed in the devil’s lettuce once upon a time. And her love of Ezell’s leads me to believe it might be more often than one might expect.