It started snowing in Seattle just over an hour ago, and yet I’ve already been buried under a thick blanket of people making cute, sarcastic posts about how they’re better at driving in the snow than other people. Why? Why do you all do this every year, during this annoyingly named Snowpocalypse thing? Why does everyone think that they know how to drive in the snow because they grew up in the Midwest, or because they’re “from” here, or for some other extremely non-scientific reason?
Let me take a moment to set the record straight: No one is better at driving in the snow than anyone else. Some people are better at driving than other people, to be sure, usually because they pay attention, focus on the road, know how to merge, and are emotionally prepared for four-way stops, and those behaviors do help in the snow, but it’s still hard as fuck to drive in the snow here. And one thing that absolutely, 100 percent, for sure does not make you better at driving in the snow is posting about how bad everyone else is at driving in the snow.
To drive well in the snow you need 4WD or AWD, snow tires or chains, and an abundance of caution. That’s it. Anyone out there who thinks that some magic combination of brake and gas that they learned in Minnesota is going to prevent their 1998 Toyota Celica from sliding backwards down Denny into a city bus is an idiot. Anyone who is talking about how they grew up here—conveniently forgetting that it only started snowing annually, like, six years ago—is no better equipped to navigate the hills than someone from a flat place.
E John hill already going critical. Two Metro coaches stuck, one just sideswiped by impatient driver (not pictured) pic.twitter.com/IQHqUW3WyQ
— jseattle (@jseattle) February 8, 2019
So for the love of God, if you are sitting there at home, unable to go in to your boring office job and be bored reading boring websites like this, and thinking about tweeting a video of some poor guy who works in an essential service industry job and couldn’t stay home, with the caption “smdh people in Seattle can’t drive for shit when it snows,” please don’t. It is a very hilly city with very little access to snowplows, which are useless 99% of the year. It’s hard to drive in the snow here. No one is better at driving in the snow than anyone else, especially not you, you smug fuck.